Well, once again I come back to my dairy after about a month of not updating, yes, there is school, it keeps me from updating, plus, my life is a bore, if I updated daily you would get something like this: "I need sex, to much homework, stress, I want to go to sleep, someone kill me please or Ill just end up doing it myself." Hmm, maybe that last part was a bit harsh...nope, its true, or maybe thats just my depression today. I think I had male PMS, I blame it for my random mood swing. First of all, I was a complete bitch today, I just felt like hurting someone badly, not for any reason, just because it felt like it would be fun (note that homocidal tendencies is a sign of mania). Then, in my happiness, at least, what was there when I was actually awake (almost never) I randomly got horible sensitive and then got depressed because of a certain situation in which a card fanatic (not the usual) shoved me out of a game I was invited to and she was not and completely made it so that my ass, which was learning how to play the game, could no longer play it. To top that off, a friend seamed depressed to day (this was before my own depression just to say) and I asked "You seam depressed, whats wrong" and I didnt even get a glance to my hand was point at his face and everything, and then another friend comes up and says basically the same thing and he goes off and talks to him. wow, how I am loved, those people paying soo much attention to my concern about them. So yeah, I got depressed and then my teacher yelled at me for being "tired" in which really I was just gloomy and he couldnt tell the difference...I think I am clinically depressed though, Ive gotten really tired lately and I have a huge loss of appitite, such as the other day, in which I didnt eat for about 5 hours, where usually I cant stand 3 hours without eatting (I know, Im a piglet) and it wasnt even self-starvation, I just really had no drive to eat at all. I was just like, eh, and I only have a bowl of cereal in the morning and a bowl of raviolies in the afternoon, and it wasnt even a big bowl. And so yeah, I was just a bitch all day and felt confused and extremely suicidal, wanted to slit my wrists, more than usual, I wonder how normal that is, not going a day without thinking at least 5 times about killing myself, and thats not even a depressed day, thats just an average day, and thats an underestimate (depressed day its usually about ever minute or so that I think about it). Hmmm, yes well, Im sure its not too abnormal.

Also, I just wanted to say, for substance, that Ive completely gotten sucked into the japanese dork fanatic thing...more so, I mean, I listen to anime songs and read manga during class all the time. I can take pride in the fact that I know a few words in the language based on watching shows with subtitles (because dubbed sucks <---prove that I am a dork) and reading manga. To make me more pathetic, I boast that Ive had and am still having crushes on manga/anime characters (yoko-kurama and count d are two of them that Im extremely found of) though its not like if there were life sized models I would get them (though if there were persocons you can bet I would ;P)...and thus I prove my geekiness once more, oh joy...ok, well Im done, I must sleep now to be tired at school and sleep some more and then get home and sleep some more.