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Lost Souls Death

The above image of Death is the characters of Neil Gaiman, and the image is copyright DC

2003-11-02 - 12:15 a.m.

I havent updated in a while so I will now. Im over him, well, for the most part. I will explain chronology first.

  1. Boy likes Girl
  2. Boy gets rejected
  3. Boy finds Whore (other boy namely me)
  4. Boy no longer needs Whore for comfort
  5. Boy dumps Whore
  6. Boy leaves school and finds Whore can be used for sex
  7. Whore is used by Boy for sex
  8. Boy no longer wants Whore for sex
  9. Boy moves on to womens
  10. Boy get back Girl
So you see, I was just a place holder, nothing but a whore for the using. I had no purpose and he didnt really like me. It helped me get over him, I mean, at least this way I never brang him anything but a bit of pleasure, this way I know that the love between use was only my own and delusions created by my own, not love between me and him at all. But of course I then found out through another friend and not him that the night of his heart breaking of namely me he forgot to mention to me that he would never have sex with me again either. So that was lost as well.

So I went to a party last night. He and his Girl were there. They spend most of the party together away from everyone else, estranging themselves the whole party to be cuddly. Not that I care (well for the most part anyways) but its then that I decided that the next party I have (my birthday), I will only be able to invite one of them for two reasons

  1. Im not having cuddly couples leaving my party to be a cuddly, no, thats both disrespectful and a disgusting use of me, I may be a whore but Im not going to let people walk away from my party
  2. He could easily, whether he says he wont or not, take her to my spot, the spot where I pleasured him and one before he, its mine for my men and him taking anyone else there could taint my spot...thats not about to happen

      I need a man, there is no one left, I have no men to like that wont hurt me or torment my soul or live to far or are straight. Either way, it doesnt matter, no hope, and without hope, what do humans have?

 

Site Meter diaries and journals are different- end part 2 - 2004-06-09
Close thy heart from the world and let despair engulf thyself - 2004-06-01
|_||>|)@73 - 2004-05-02
oh the horrid pain of the fucktastic life - 2004-04-08
short but sweet update - 2004-04-03

tragedy - misery

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