the kingdom of despair

"White Flag"

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

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(If any of you know the song, no, Im not becoming a fan of hers but the song is alot like my situation so you know...)

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Just incase you people thought I was over him, Im not, I wont ever be, but Ive found a new way to deal with it, Ill just be a guardian angel of doom to him this way I can love him in all of his glory even if its only a little and from slightly afar, at least I know that I created some happiness in his life. People keep asking me why Im so obsessed. Its cause I love him, I can tell because of the way that I feel around him and also that the things he does that would annoy me with anyone else doesnt with him some how. A friend of mine once described moving on as accepting what you cant have...if this is the case then I have "moved on" and yet I am still faithful, I dont want to leave his side, I mean sure, Ill probably go to another guy, have sex with them or something, but the desire for him will never go away, never will there be another him, nor will there be another love as strong as which I had for him. In life, each love his different, some small and insignificant, some so grand and big that you cant help but smile thinking of it...with him, it was the latter. ----------------------------------------

"Moses"

come on now, don't you want to see
this thing that's happening to me
like moses has power over sea
so you've got power over me

come on now don't you want to know
you're a refuge, somewhere i can go
you're air that, air that i can breathe
you're my golden opportunity

and oh, oh yes i would if i only could
and you know i would and baby i, oh baby i
i wish

come on now, don't you want to see
just what a difference you've made in me
i'll be waiting oh no matter what you say
cause i've been waiting for days and days and days

and oh, oh yes i would if i only could
and you know i would and baby i, oh baby i
i wish i wish

oh, oh, oh
oh, oh, oh
if the sky's gonna fall down let it fall on me
if you're gonna break down you can break on me
if the sky's gonna fall down let it fall on me
if it's gonna rain down it can rain on me
it can rain on me

P.S. He always tells people how ugly his feet are...I think they are kinda cute...