...I cry my eyes out...it hurts so bad...why do I live on in this life...no more hope left in me...every pessimistic bone in my body tells me theres nothing left...dear god, Ive skiped death and gone straight to hell...until death do us part...lead to the dark, blindfolded...nothing left for me but the bright light at the end of the tunnel...Im paining right now, constant chills of death coursing through my soul...I saw this coming and I wondered why, now I know...forsakened to never love for who I am, this is the world I live in...love the lover but not of you...I dont think Ill make it past this weekend without attempting to send my soul to be damned for ever and though it is supposedly worse than anything ever imaginable, I think that maybe it is not as bad as this. . .

"I guarantee nothing but a goodbye might be proper..." -me in reference to what to say after I explained my dilemma