Erm, Im a loser, I sleep all day and stay up all night, I havent fixed my computer, but Im getting closer, I think it is a memory problem (something suggested at the beginning that that was the problem, damn my stubbornness). Also, I got into a fight over the simpliest math problem with my parents. It was: if it takes 10 people 10 days to make a garden, how many days does it take 5 people to do half a garden. It would be 10, but when I tried to explain it algebraicly, they didnt understand my translation from word problem to math, so it was like argue argue argue. . .I got sad, I realized how stubborn I can be, which makes me an ass. ::sigh:: it also means Im closed-minded, which means Im no better than the homophobes that I consider below dirt. Ah well, the curse of hipocracy, we all have it in one form or another, no? I also learned a few naughty words in latin, such as cinaedus, pathicus, irrumare, fellare, pathica, and fellatrix. Fellare should be easy for you people (think fellate). I wont explain the other ones because they revolve around the same thing any ways and probably most people who read this wont be able to use it properly anyways. I finished my first set of ten assignment per week today, I think Ill be able to finish the second set easily. Um, I need sex, but Ive said that so many times this summer you people are probably going to puke. Im a hipacrite, I hide feelings as well, I let my fantascies run away with me, its not good. But they never go far enough to get me anywhere or make me brave, Ill fantasize and fantasize but when the chance comes for them to come true, I freeze and then they are no longer thier to aid. Life sucks. I also think Im selfish, I want to much, I think of myself to much, damn myself. hmm, self-revelations are fun, even better when you know you arent going to do a damn about it.

On the 4th of July, my parents are going to have a party. I dont want to be there, though, maybe, because on the 4th of July I usually see someone on the beach that I never thought I would see, maybe one of my fantasies will come true, probably not though. Heck, I might not even see anyone I know this year. Eh, thats life's cruetly. Also, I think Im going to be bored, very bored. None of my freinds are going to be there (I havent asked but Im sure thier families wouldnt let them go). My cousins are going to be there and so is Gee, who is the son of a friend of the family, hes 18 and whatnot but he is so stupid, I cant stand him, he was surrounded by a group of gay people last forth of july (including my ex whom I miss dearly ;_: )) and I was all making out in front of him and playing with my ex's nipple rings (so sexy, he had also got he tongue ring then, it was enjoyable ^_~ . . .I cause myself so much despair) and Gee still thought I was straight, I mean, does he want me to kiss him to make him understand (not that I would, theres only such a level of stupidity my mouth can take). Last, but not least, there will be all of my parents friends, who will get UBER-DRUNK with my mom and yay, disaster again.

My sister was kicked out of the house. I mean, she still lives her, but she has to get an appartment. She disobeyed my moms request to not go to a party, so she has to move out. I dont really care, it wont affect me much, my heart has grown cold over the years, especially towards her. I mean, she is selfish, self-centered, superficial, and uncaring. So, I dont care, begone with her, begone with them all.

Im having two types of dreams lately. The first one is school dreams, where I go back to school and have an assortment of hard classes. I had this last year. This is probably caused by the summer reading and the fact that I know that it will be harder next year. The second is sex dreams. Dreams where I have sex, I cant really remember the people, but they are there. Once or twice I had sex in a school dream but that wasnt the basis of the dream, and no, I havent had school in a sex dream because sex dreams involve one thing, sex, like a porno, though there is sex in a school scene, you never learn anything acedemic in a porno.

erm, oh oh, a friend said he might visit me, it makes me happy, it makes me feel like maybe Im not a complete loser, yay ^-^. I dont know when but he said he might and so thats all that matters.

Ill probably go to the McNicol (my middle school) reuion. Sure, nothing better to do unless someone offers sex but that probably wont happen unless its there anyways. Um, ok.

Oh, and Im wearing my halloween toesy socks, they're pretty ful =^.^=