tommorrows friday and Im beginning to dread fridays. Every friday I get depressed, I just feel so alone on fridays, as if Im too far from anyone's reach. Its not like that one ex that visits me ever once in a while (the one before last) helps either, coming over with his girlfriend and his herpies. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I want certain people is to only get in thier pants, sometimes I wonder if maybe I really am that shallow. And then I think of how I might hurt certain people, which makes me hold back. And then I think that maybe either way Im hurting these certain people (obviously you can guess Im talking about one certain person but I will keep it plural so that you wont be able to guess...that made the whole plural thing redundent, yeah, oh well). I mean, because I look at other people and think, wow, I need sex...and then I think that maybe it applies to those certain people, that I only look at them for sex, and then what would that make my former relationship, just an infatuation...could it have only been a lust for sex, nothing more than a petty urge! That depresses me even more, that I just may have mourned over the death of a relationship that was nothing more than...lust. Which makes me fear having another relationship. If I touch the delicate flower with my acid skin, will it whither and die? Shall my love only cause more pain? I also seam to be completely unable to think of love, almost as if the damage of the previous relationships has whithered my heart and caused it to frail into a dark hole in fear of anymore pain...one human can only take so much. Well, thats about it, but for

those certain people out there that feels depressed (and yes, I put feels on purpose), remember, Im always there for you^-^...

Quote of the Day*

-I've got a crush on a pretty pistol • should I tell him that I feel this way?-Marylin Manson

*Note: Quote of the Day may be altered to better suit the creator of this diary or to better indentify the point